In 1971–1974, I was attending Hindu College in Delhi. Somewhere in that timeframe, I met Charles Reynolds in the Indian Coffee House in New Delhi. He was the international director of Christian Medical College, Ludhiana. He also used to bring two tour groups from the USA to India every year. One group was senior citizens and the other was college students.He asked me if I would be interested in helping him out with transportation arrangements for the groups and as a tour guide in Delhi. It was an exciting opportunity. I agreed. I did that work for him for several years.

In the summer of 1977, I met Coni. She was part of the student group that year. I spent a lot of time with her as I travelled with the group to different places.

We went to Palampur in Himachal Pradesh and stayed in a government tourist bungalow, set in the shadows of hills with beautiful greenery and waterfalls. It was magical. Coni and I got to be real close, in an honorable way. I had never experienced this kind of feeling before. I was 24 years old; she was 20.

We went for long walks during our three-day stay in Palampur. We held hands and joked about how many different ways we could hold hands. Time flew by. Finally, the tour ended. It was very hard on both of us. We cried helplessly.

Finally, the group went back to America. I went to the airport to see them off. On the way back, I was completely lost and in a daze. This went on for several months.

We exchanged weekly letters. Very long letters, 10, 15, 20 pages long. It was amazing how much we could write about. She asked me if, as a child, we had a lot of leaves in the autumn in our yard to dive into. I told her that we lived in a small room on a crowded street and didn’t have a yard. And we laughed.

Then she asked if I ever did a watermelon seed-spitting contest. I said, “I don’t know what that is.” We laughed again.

I couldn’t stay in Delhi long after that. The situation at home was also quite difficult. So, I left Delhi for Bombay on December 18, 1977. It was to be a new beginning, almost a new birth for me.

The first year in Bombay was quite challenging, but I still enjoyed the adventure. My correspondence with Coni was interrupted, as I did not have a mailing address for a few months. We resumed our conversations. Before long, the question arose: Where is it going? It was not even conceivable at the time that I would ever be able to go to America.

Then, one day, I got a letter from her saying that she had met someone there and they might get serious. It was an indirect message that our situation was hopeless and we needed to move on. It was really sad for both of us. I wrote back and wished her a good life. Our correspondence stopped.

At one time, she had written that our lives were like two stars that accidentally crossed paths in the skies and then went their own ways. I wrote back that perhaps we did not just cross paths, but met and started travelling together looking for a destination. She wrote back that I had thoroughly outsmarted her, and she loved it.

Time moved on.

Destiny has ways of surprising us.

I ended up coming to America in the fall of 1984. I had taken a job in Saudi Arabia in 1982 on a two-year contract. While there, I decided to go back to school and do an MBA.

It was not possible to do it in India for many reasons. So, I applied to schools in the USA and got accepted into several.

I decided to attend the University of Wisconsin–Whitewater. I was not really sure where I wanted to go. So, I went to the American Embassy in Jeddah and consulted with an advisor, Dr. Joan White. She suggested UW–Whitewater because the cost was comparatively more reasonable, the school had a good reputation, classes were taught by actual professors and not teaching assistants, and if I did not like it, I could always transfer.

So, I accepted their offer and came to Whitewater on August 23, 1984.

Coni had come to India in 1977. She had talked a lot about me at her home when she returned. So much so that the following year, in 1978, her brother Dennis came to visit with me in Delhi. Dennis was just a year older than her, I believe.

We had a good time in India. We got to know each other very well. Then he went back home. We kept in touch as well. I had kept his contact information.

After arriving in Whitewater, thoughts of Coni came back to me. I was wondering how her life was now. What she was doing. But, coming from where I came from, I did not have the courage to directly reach out to her.

She was probably a married woman now. Perhaps she had kids. It was not right to contact her, especially when we had such a strong history.

So, I wrote a letter to Dennis to let him know that I was in the USA. I sent him my contact information and asked him to let Coni know as well.

That was that.

Just a week earlier, I had moved out of the student dorm and rented a room off campus in Erma Bruenski’s home. She was a very sweet lady in her eighties. About three days after I had sent the letter to Dennis, our phone rang around 9 p.m. Erma came out of her room and picked up the phone in the kitchen. Then she called me: “Anil, it’s for you.”

I took the phone from her. The voice at the other end said, “This is Coni.”

The world seemed to have stopped. It was an eternity before I said, “Hi, Coni…”

We talked for nearly four hours. Maybe more. Outside the kitchen window was a lamppost with a warm halogen light. The snow had just started falling. This was the first time I had seen snow fall in my life. Under the warm halogen light, the white snowflakes seemed like ribbons of gold.

I fell asleep.

Later that morning, Erma woke me up. She said mischievously, “He has already found a girlfriend!”

From then on, our friendship flourished. Coni and her whole family invited me over for Christmas. I was a little hesitant at first, but Coni assured me that her husband, Jonathan, knew all about me and would also like to meet me.

So, I went there for Christmas in 1984. Her whole family was there. Dennis drove all the way from Pasadena, California, to Cleveland, Ohio, with four of his female friends. I spent about a week there. That was a Christmas to remember. I haven’t had a Christmas like that again.

Her whole family nearly adopted me. I spent several of my summer vacations at the home of her parents, Don and Camille. They lived about an hour away in Wooster, Ohio. Our relationship grew and grew. After I returned to school in Whitewater, they sent me a woolen blanket. I am still using it on top of my comforter after 42 years.

Her whole family came for both of my graduations, in 1989 for my BBA and in 1992 for my MBA. I attended the weddings of her sisters Donna and Janna, and her brother Dennis. They treated me completely as a family member.

After I met Ginny, they invited both of us to Cleveland. We went there just before our wedding. Coni helped her find the wedding dress. Their whole family came to our wedding in Madison, Wisconsin. They brought several gifts.

One of these was this silver serving dish. Over the next few years, they completed the set with other pieces. This was a gift from Coni and her parents, Don and Camille. They wanted us to feel their presence, far away from them, as I began my new life here and built my social life.

But my life did not turn out as I had imagined. Ginny and I are completely different people. We could not build a social network together and have lived rather independent lives.

These silver dishes were given to us at the beginning of our married life, with the hope that they would become part of family gatherings, celebrations, and a growing social life. That did not happen in the way Coni and her parents had imagined.

These dishes carry my most precious memories. I do not want them to fade away after I am gone. I do not have any children of my own. But perhaps these dishes can still fulfill their original purpose through you and Aiden and continue within the family.

Therefore, I would like you to have this serving dish and keep my love flame shining through your family and future generations.

Unfortunately, Coni passed away on November 24, 2012, after a long battle with cancer. She was 55.

Connie L. (Lautzenheiser) Pinkley, 55, of Highland Heights, OH went home to be with her Lord on Saturday, Nov. 24, 2012 after a long and courageous battle with cancer.

She was born Sept. 6, 1957 to Donald and Camille Lautzenheiser and grew up in Orrville, OH. In 1979 she graduated from Asbury College and in 1982 she received her Doctor of Nursing degree from the Frances Payne Bolton School of Nursing at Case Western Reserve University. Connie then began her career at University Hospitals Medical Intensive Care Unit and later worked in the Information Technology department where she continued to work until May of this year, completing 30 years of service at University Hospitals.

On August 2, 1980 she married Jonathan Pinkley, her college sweetheart. Their children, Kristianna and Brian were her pride and joy. Connie loved doing things for her children and helping others. She touched the lives of many by lending a helping hand and other acts of compassion and kindness.

She will be greatly missed and cherished by her husband and children; father, Don Lautzenheiser of Orrville; siblings, Donna (Marty) Feliciano of Orrville, Dennis (Sarah) Lautzenheiser of the Los Angeles area, and Janna (Richard) Bramhill of the Indianapolis area; sister-in-laws, Arlene (George) Ussery of the Los Angeles area, Barbara Pinkley of Kenya, Africa, as well as nieces and nephews, Nathan and Darrel Ussery, Rachel Luzi, Rachel Lautzenheiser, Alexandria and Luke Bramhill. Connie was preceded in death by her mother, Camille Lautzenheiser.

Connie enjoyed life to the fullest, spending time with family and friends, working with her children to pass on her skills and passions, organizing special occasions for her friends and family, painting pictures, sculpting birthday cakes, doing home improvement projects, and being part of the Bethany Covenant Church of Lyndhurst.

Services will be Friday, Nov. 30th at Bethany Covenant Church, 5120 Ridgebury Boulevard, Lyndhurst, OH. Burial will be at Chester Township Cemetery. Friends may call at the DeJohn-Flynn-Mylott Funeral Home of South Euclid, 4600 Mayfield Rd. (just east of Green Rd.) Thursday Nov. 29th 4-8 PM or between 11:00 – 11:30 AM Friday, Nov. 30th prior to the services at the church.

Memorial contributions may be made to Laura’s Home Women’s Crisis Center, The City Mission, 5310 Carnegie Ave., Cleveland, OH 44103.

Anil and Coni